Saturday, August 29, 2009


So I guess I'm not a 14 day ovulator. I'm on day 14 and no sign of fertile CM. NO SIGN AT ALL. Maybe it's because I'm looking too hard. But I'm still charting away! I am proud of myself for that even if I think my chart looks weird.

Plus Mark and I are super frustrated with the whole process right now. We keep wondering if maybe we should take a break from it all and save some more money. We just feel like we have a lot of random debt right now and he's taking a class to finish his degree. (He should have it finished in 3 or 4 more classes.) And we found out there are going to be more cuts at my job around Christmas. Our bosses don't think it will come from the news room but still you never know. I just don't want to wait. My perfect life plan is already behind schedule. I know it's selfish BUT I DON'T WANT TO WAIT. If only we knew that we would get a positive in the next couple months. It's the not knowing that's driving me crazy and make me doubt it all.

Having a baby is seriously all I can think about these days. It keeps me constantly stressed out and I know Mark is sick of hearing about the state of my CM. The look of disgust comes on his face immediately when I bring it up just thinking about the descriptors I'm about to use to describe what is coming out of my body. (He's decided the word 'mucus' can never be uttered around him again. Only the world 'fluid' will be accepted around him right now.)

We'll see what the next few days bring.


  1. Hang in there Hayley. I'm feeling the same stress and anxiety as you and Mike is definitely tired of hearing about my CM and temps each day. My hope is that if I stop stressing and focusing on getting pregnant, maybe it will just happen. I'm praying for that mysterious BFP that has been alluding you. :)

  2. Thanks. I think I might start doing yoga or something. I am such a calm, encouraging person when it comes to anyone but myself! I'm in stress overdrive right now. :) But I know you ladies totally understand.