Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Tomorrows the day

My appointment is tomorrow!! I can't wait. I have no idea what to expect. I'm so excited and nervous all at once. I know we are getting an ultrasound. That's the part I'm MOST excited for and I think it's first thing. I'm really nervous about the rest of the appointment. I hate the annual visits but I'm thinking that maybe because I'm going to see the baby that I'll be able to get through the rest of it. Propping my legs up on the table is not something I look forward too. Especially since I think I'm seeing my 'new' doctor. It's a man! I usually see the nurse practitioner. She doesn't do babies though :( Maybe I'll get lucky and get to see her for the first appointment. That would be ideal.

Mark is going with me to the first appointment. He's super excited about going for the ultrasound. I think he's like me and is uneasy about the rest of the appointment.

I don't think I'm going to be able to sleep tonight.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Counting down the days

It's the week of my first appointment. I'm so excited and nervous all at the same time. I can't wait until Thursday. I have so much going through my mind as I wait. Some ridiculous and some just crazy. I just want to get there and get confirmation that everything is going ok with my pregnancy. I've had the minor cramping and brown spotting since around 4 and a half or 5 weeks. I know it can be normal but I just want to make sure that mine is ok.

Then my mom and husband decided they would put knew crazy thoughts into my head. Like I can't come up with crazy thoughts on my own. My mom keeps asking if I think it's possible that I could have twins. (I'm a twin so it's all she knows) I think that that's a pretty slim chance. She conceived us while on clomid and that increases the chances of twins so I think that's where that comes from.

I found my mom huddled in the corner on Christmas gossiping with Mark about my supposed 'bump.' They have decided that I look way further along than 8 weeks and that maybe I actually conceived in October and therefore am further along than I think. I did have that phantom UTI in October that I could have sworn it was a UTI only to have the test come back negative. That lasted for a few weeks in October and then went away. I did have a period but I don't remember how heavy it was. I also took a negative Dollar Store pregnancy test. But now Mark thinks maybe I threw it away before the results registered. I didn't let him look at it so he doesn't believe it was negative.

When we got the positive all my Dollar Store tests were super faint and they never got darker. I never took a digital in October. My digital changed to positive at what I think would have been about 10 dpo.

Also tonight my friends all decided I 'looked' pregnant. And truthfully I'm starting to wonder. I can definitely feel my stomach below my belly button and it's really hard. My friend let me push on her nonpregnant belly bloat and it's definitely way more squishy than what I have going on. I really don't think I should be able to feel my uterus at this point.

So now I'm doubting all things I thought I knew. I just want to yell 'It's bloat people! It's bloat!' But I'm wondering if there is a chance I conceived a month earlier....

I guess I'll find out on Thursday! Just a few more days and I'll have all kinds of answers.....
Is the baby ok? How big is the baby? How many weeks am I? And is there only one in there??

Friday, December 11, 2009

Always waiting

I thought the two week wait was horrible. Well I think I was wrong. This last week was soooooo long it wasn't funny. And I have a couple more weeks before I get to my first appointment. This week has been pretty overwhelming for me. I had some brown spotting and some light cramping. Not knowing what to expect, I was freaked out. I called the doctor yesterday and they assured me that it was normal to have the brown spotting and even the cramping. I'm to take it easy until my next appointment and call if things get worse or different.

My first appointment is Dec. 31st. This in itself puts me in a dilema. Do we go ahead and tell our family at Christmas as we had planned or wait until New Years? I really want to tell but I really want to make sure everything is ok before we start blabbing to the relatives. We've already told every member of our immediate family possible. I just worry that something may go wrong and then I'll have to deliver that awful news to EVERYONE.

I don't know how I'm going to make it to Dec. 31st. I'm ready to push past Christmas and get to the New Year.

Monday, December 7, 2009

It's finally happened

I'm pregnant. After 11 long months of waiting we found out the Sunday after Thanksgiving that I was pregnant. This month we decided to try PreSeed. That's really the only thing different we did. We used it everytime this month. I wish I had broke down and spent the 20 dollars sooner. It was well worth it. Now we sit and wait until Dec. 31st which is my first appointment.