New addition

Today has been a bit of a rough day for me. I think by tomorrow I will be onto cycle 9 or 10 (I'm losing count). My temp dropped a bit this morning.

Also my day began with my mom calling me at 8 to tell me my cousin was at the hospital having her baby. While I was very excited, I was also a little sad. My cousin announced her pregnancy at the end of our first official trying to conceive month. I was so excited for her at the time because I couldn't help but think we would have babies at the same time. 

This baby was very much a surprise for her and she wasn't expecting to be pregnant at this stage in her life but I was sooo excited thinking I would be going through it with her. Each month I was like 'That's ok because we will still have a baby close together.'

Well today she had her baby girl. She was 37 weeks and I'm not even on week one yet. 

My mom called me at 1030 to tell me to go up to the hospital to check on things. My whole extended family was at work so I was acting as family representative. While I was brushing my teeth she called to tell me the baby was here and I needed to hurry up.  She was born at 1039.

So I drove up to the hospital, tearing up a little on the way but handling it pretty well. I got to the hospital at 1115 and rushed up to the room. I walked in and saw the baby and felt myself tearing up but I got it together before anyone noticed and got to see my new cousin. 

Today really just makes me want to put even more effort into next cycle. I think now that we are charting things are going to be better. I'm just really ready to start my period and get this next cycle started. I know that when we are ready God is going to give us the baby we are supposed to have but days like today make me really impatient for that day to come sooner rather than later.

So even though I'm sad and wish I were sharing in the joy with my older cousin, I'm also relishing in the fact that 'I got to see the baby first out of all my large extended family!!!' And within 20-ish minutes of her being born!!! And I will be parking it on the couch baby hogging this new baby this weekend and taking her the hand-made quilt I made especially for her. 

Now if they would just name her I would be really happy!

Shredding

I've gained quite a bit of weight over the last few months. I kept thinking 'I'll get pregnant and then it won't matter.' Well I'm not pregnant and I'm starting to look like I have a little bump growing. If I'm not going to be pregnant I can't look like I'm pregnant because then I start daydreaming that I am and the bumps real. This just leaves me further up the crazy ladder.

So I'm starting the 30 Day Shred. I know it's going to be tough but I really think I'll start to feel better once I shed those pounds I've gained. I seriously used the excuse to Mark not too long ago that I was just padding my nest for our embryo.

It's really time I re-evaluate and stop late-night snacking.

And we are waiting

Well this is my first month charting and I think it's going well. There were a few nights that I couldn't sleep so that might have thrown my temps off but I think overall everything is looking good. It appears that I ovulate later than I was expecting, which could explain a lot. My chart has me ovulating on day 17. I'm really not expecting a big fat positive(bfp) this month because I was confused with my chart and frustrated and then Mark hurt his back so that really wrecked our chances for the month I think. But there is still a slim chance and I'm going to hold onto it! :) I told him next month he can't do anything to his body or mind to get us off track. I just thought I would update the blog as to where we are right now. Not much is happening just waiting until we can test.

The signs point to

All signs point that I'm ovulating. That would be a good thing right? Wrong. Mark has injured his back and can't move. I told him I thought his body was rebelling against having a baby. Last month he was weird about it all during the time I was ovulating and this month he can't move. But at least I'm charting now! It just seems like the more effort I put into watching for the signs and learning about what's going on with my body the more he pulls away from it all. But then he goes and tells me he found a perfect shirt to order for me when I am pregnant. I'm like well to actually be able to buy me that shirt I must first get pregnant and you are totally dropping the ball in that area! Oh and he helped me clean up our extra/baby room this last weekend. He threw out a ton of his stuff that he refused to get rid of on all the previous attempts to clean. The signals I'm getting are really mixed this month.