We have a heartbeat!

My first appointment was a great success. We immediately went to the ultrasound room at 8 a.m. Almost instantly the heartbeat was there. She said the baby was in the lowest part of my uterus, laying there like on a hammock. I thought 'Yep, Baby is just like us....lazy :)' Because of the positioning she said that it would be harder to get the best picture. But we saw our little blob.

My due date is moved back to Aug. 11. I'm officially 8 weeks.

I can't describe the happiness of seeing the heart beating. It was wonderful. It was beating at 176. She said it could have been elevated because I was anxious.

After our ultrasound we met with her a bit longer where she went over medical history and the joy of breastfeeding. She also encouraged us to get the H1N1. So we did. We were a bit apprehensive about it but once she said pregnant women who get the flu are more likely to miscarry.....off we went to roll up our sleeve.

My mom picked me up from the appointment since Mark had to go to work. She immediately picked up my father and drove us about town telling family members as we went. So now our whole family knows our news and a few friends.

I'll be telling the world (my work) next week. Today life is good.

And I turned 26

On my 26th birthday last September I had a mini breakdown. I realized that if I was to get pregnant in the upcoming year I would more than likely be 27 before I had a baby. That was not the plan at all! I had always planned to have all my children by the time I turned 30. I wanted 4. Boo.

Life was definitely not going as I had seen it. I had been on birth control pills for a few years by that point. This was the biggest mistake of my life to that point. While on the BCP I slowly watched myself become CRAZY. I screamed and cried at Mark ALL the time. At the lowest point while on the BCP I remember Mark was working for Toyota at the time and I was home alone at night. I was watching Akeela and the Bee and bawling my eyes out! I couldn't get a grip on my emotions AT ALL. I remember having really dark thoughts (like while standing on the washer trying to reach our beach towels, "what would happen if I just threw myself off the washer?" Not really thoughts about killing myself but definite thoughts of death and such) At the time I didn't realize that this was going on but once I stopped the BCP I noticed the lack of these type of thoughts and then realized I was CRAZY!

So in September we decided this is it. We aren't going to renew the prescription. So I finished the pack and threw away the sugar pills and never looked back.

And then the road got a little bumpy.